Rant to Breathe Easy Again

Are you fucking kidding me. Where is your personality? Where are your fucking faults? I know you aren't perfect. No one is. How can one person be so incredibly fake? How can others stand it? I can't be the only one so impossibly annoyed by the way she acts as if she's the most darling little thing there ever was. Why can't others see it?

I don't understand. She isn't always like this. Sometimes she can be funny... a good laugh. Sometimes a good friend. Not so much lately.

She makes all the wrong decisions, and I know she's not the only one making these dumb decisions, I just happened to think she was better than them. I knew with my whole heart that she was better than those damn decisions, I knew that she deserved better. I guess she didn't.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." -Stephen Chbosky

It's true. Another thing that might be true.. is that once we settle... we become something worth settling for. When we lower ourselves for someone else, others see us as lowered as well.

I don't think so high and mighty of myself... I'm no where near perfect, I make mistakes and ruin things, but I strive to be better.

Don't ever lower yourself. Raise yourself up. Strive for the best. One day, you'll get it.

Music: Falling Slowly by Kris Allen

Books

Books.. are misleading. They let you believe in the fairy tale of sweet never-ending summers and everything going your way. I love believing in those kind of things. I love fairy tales even if they're just that. Fairy tales. It sort of gives you hope, to believe in the good things. Books make it look easy to connect to people. In romances, the girl is always accidentally running into her conquest, or maybe they live on the same street, or are sharing the same summer house. I've always wanted this to happen to me. To make it so incredibly easy to stay in touch, to fall in love, to be happy and close. Sometimes, it is. Most of the time, it isn't. However, no one would read a book where the girl only saw the man she loved roughly twice a year. People want a quick, continuous love story and then a happy ending. That's what we want in life too. Sadly, that's not how it works. There are the lucky ones though... The ones who do actually go to a boy-girl boarding school and fall in love and the ones who do live on the same street and end up marrying their next-door neighbor. I'm not one of them. I can't complain... too much. I have my boy. Though he doesn't live as close as I'd like him to. He makes me happy,  happier than I thought I could be, but there are still the things we can't have. We can't be as close as we'd like, we aren't as old as we'd want to be. We're too young to move forward, but I'm glad I found him and he found me.

Here I am saying books are misleading, when sometimes, they aren't. At all. Sometimes, the books are so similar to your life that its eerie. The main character does some of the exact same things you do, wears the same kind of shoes, has the same type of favorite cake, their best friend acts exactly like yours.. Sometimes, the books are too close to reality. And then, in that situation, you want everything to go well. So so well for them, because they're just like you! Then when it doesn't, you're so devastated, because it's like its you things are going bad for..

I suppose I'm sitting on the fence about whether I consider them misleading or not.. I've just always thought that life was so much harder than my books made it out to be. If I ever write a book, though.. mine would be the fairy tale kind... Close to reality, but so much happier.

To close, my suggested read, "The Summer I Turned Pretty" and a song to get you by, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD12z02BOXY